‘The Day I Become Conventional, Something Inside Me Will Die’—Irrfan Khan
As the new cloud of uncertainty set in yesterday, we were shaken by the demise of one of the greatest actors in modern cinema, Irrfan Khan. A mind whose art was pure, quiet and unaltered by the grotesqueness of the society, and unreservedly a gemstone of freethinking—his ideas that so beautifully moved souls and will continue to for the generations to come.
The greatest epiphany in life is perhaps realizing someone's worth only after they are gone. Seasons will narrate endlessly, his ideas that so splendidly shook hands with something beyond the ordinary.
This life, an elegant act to some while a chaotic art to others, and Irrfan Khan knew so well, where he stood, in everything that he perhaps ever believed in. ‘You cannot reduce the power of a story with the tag of money,’ is one of the many inspiring quotes he shared. His mind, a deviant from the daily flock who so attentively follow the crowd, was in search of art that could not be compromised, not even with the last penny left on earth.
But just like any great story, a tragedy is what sets it free, a dire need to relate to and convey, only if it’s a renaissance for our kind, from everything that we are afraid of, and Irrfan played at the pinnacle, his life that was the greatest poetic marvel that existed.
The characters he played in some of his greatest hits seemed to resonate a longing for answers, whether it be in ‘Life of Pi’ or ‘Puzzle’. His Bollywood movie ‘Maqbool’ in 2003 was an adaptation of Shakespeare's Macbeth.
Not only do the millions weep across the globe, but the stars that walk away from each other tonight, the cosmic stellar of emptiness that is continually filling our night skies.
Irrfan’s philosophy towards life was on its appreciation, a humble gesture when it’s interwoven by nature. ‘Wanting fame is a disease and one day I will want to be free from this disease, from this desire where fame does not matter.’
His constant struggle to relate to audiences on the ‘quality’ of his work rather than the maddening circus of unbothered artists, was one of his defining features. ‘I want to entertain people but with some substance.’
There is so much love and admiration for art, and he enjoyed being around it the most. ‘The sign of a good society is where talent is respected.’ Irrfan believed in the power artists had, on impacting the lives of those around them. A sense of self-reflection, a need to do something with life and a breeze of hope ignites, in the quest, if one decides to, in following the path already walked by him.
His search for fulfillment, a need which has us all crippled in this ‘self-inflicted’ world, is as appealing to us as his rhythmic life. ‘Maybe to become famous is to reassure yourself that whenever you're lacking inside, you’ve fulfilled that.’
And in the end, ‘but what always hurts the most is not taking a moment to say goodbye,’ a cinematic script from one of his movies is what seems to be defining the unconditional pain that many of us are feeling all across the globe.
May your soul rest in peace, in eternity. Forever loved…
-Yogesh Chandra